I was talking with a friend who has issue with marriage. Coming from a divorced home,
he discussed with me how his ideas on marrige on are changing, and thoughts of a
"wedding" are abhorrant to him because of divorce.
I think that the ability to “divorce” oneself from another and the bonds of matrimony
need to be upheld, but I also think that in today’s society it’s more a civil association than religious.
Any couple can obtain a license to “marry” from the local City hall or magistrate.
This license ensures the legal status and benefits associated with being “married”.
I see this as a civil union under law, it is a bond, but that of the legal and not the faith.
For those whose faith prompts them to go further with a “wedding”, there are many methods
to choose from.
The meaning of being “wedded”, has to my observation lost it’s importance in today’s society.
Being wedded, is a coming together of two people, a conscious and welcomed joining of the
spirits in the eyes of the Divine; whatever their particular Divine is called. It is a blessed event,
of monumental occasion or at least it should be. It means these two people have made the
decision to be bound to one another in spirit, two parts of a whole.
To care for one another mentally, bodily and spiritually.
There are instances in life where this bond may be tested, or even fail. One part of the whole
may change their outlook on life, or religion, or may cause harm to those around them, that the
other cannot tolerate. There may be abuse, either mental or physical. There may be unfaithfulness.
These are all good reasons to break the “bond” of faith with that person. In this instance, it is
hoped that both will seek discussion and healing from those who are capable of giving it.
Most often this is clergy.
Is it a failure on the part of both parties? Somewhat, but not always.
The truth is couples have become selfish these days. They want what they want, and have a
difficult time agreeing, compromising or being concerned with what their partner may need or want.
I think this is due to lack of faith.
It is our duty as clergy, no matter what faith, to try and address these issues with couples who
want to marry. To discuss even if only briefly how entering into a marriage is an important
step in life, and means they are now responsible for the welfare, happiness and love of two people
not just one. That if at anytime one or the other is not able to do this, then they are breaking faith
with the other. While divorce is the legal dissolution of the marriage, the spiritual dissolution is far
deeper and long lasting. I think it’s important that couples realize, breaking this bond is a break
in faith as well, and should be undertaken with as solemn a decision as the marriage was.
Full Version: Divorce
This is why I like the idea of the Pagan handfasting. Couples are bound together only for a fixed period of time (one year or more). Then they gather again to either join hands again... or part. I like it because it takes a lot of pressure off the union. It's not a matter of "success" or "failure" anymore. But rather a loving partnership, and a very pragmatical at that. 
QUOTE (TStephensAOD @ Oct 6 2009, 06:00 PM) 
I was talking with a friend who has issue with marriage. Coming from a divorced home,
he discussed with me how his ideas on marrige on are changing, and thoughts of a
"wedding" are abhorrant to him because of divorce.
I think that the ability to “divorce” oneself from another and the bonds of matrimony
need to be upheld, but I also think that in today’s society it’s more a civil association than religious.
Any couple can obtain a license to “marry” from the local City hall or magistrate.
This license ensures the legal status and benefits associated with being “married”.
I see this as a civil union under law, it is a bond, but that of the legal and not the faith.
For those whose faith prompts them to go further with a “wedding”, there are many methods
to choose from.
The meaning of being “wedded”, has to my observation lost it’s importance in today’s society.
Being wedded, is a coming together of two people, a conscious and welcomed joining of the
spirits in the eyes of the Divine; whatever their particular Divine is called. It is a blessed event,
of monumental occasion or at least it should be. It means these two people have made the
decision to be bound to one another in spirit, two parts of a whole.
To care for one another mentally, bodily and spiritually.
There are instances in life where this bond may be tested, or even fail. One part of the whole
may change their outlook on life, or religion, or may cause harm to those around them, that the
other cannot tolerate. There may be abuse, either mental or physical. There may be unfaithfulness.
These are all good reasons to break the “bond” of faith with that person. In this instance, it is
hoped that both will seek discussion and healing from those who are capable of giving it.
Most often this is clergy.
Is it a failure on the part of both parties? Somewhat, but not always.
The truth is couples have become selfish these days. They want what they want, and have a
difficult time agreeing, compromising or being concerned with what their partner may need or want.
I think this is due to lack of faith.
It is our duty as clergy, no matter what faith, to try and address these issues with couples who
want to marry. To discuss even if only briefly how entering into a marriage is an important
step in life, and means they are now responsible for the welfare, happiness and love of two people
not just one. That if at anytime one or the other is not able to do this, then they are breaking faith
with the other. While divorce is the legal dissolution of the marriage, the spiritual dissolution is far
deeper and long lasting. I think it’s important that couples realize, breaking this bond is a break
in faith as well, and should be undertaken with as solemn a decision as the marriage was.
he discussed with me how his ideas on marrige on are changing, and thoughts of a
"wedding" are abhorrant to him because of divorce.
I think that the ability to “divorce” oneself from another and the bonds of matrimony
need to be upheld, but I also think that in today’s society it’s more a civil association than religious.
Any couple can obtain a license to “marry” from the local City hall or magistrate.
This license ensures the legal status and benefits associated with being “married”.
I see this as a civil union under law, it is a bond, but that of the legal and not the faith.
For those whose faith prompts them to go further with a “wedding”, there are many methods
to choose from.
The meaning of being “wedded”, has to my observation lost it’s importance in today’s society.
Being wedded, is a coming together of two people, a conscious and welcomed joining of the
spirits in the eyes of the Divine; whatever their particular Divine is called. It is a blessed event,
of monumental occasion or at least it should be. It means these two people have made the
decision to be bound to one another in spirit, two parts of a whole.
To care for one another mentally, bodily and spiritually.
There are instances in life where this bond may be tested, or even fail. One part of the whole
may change their outlook on life, or religion, or may cause harm to those around them, that the
other cannot tolerate. There may be abuse, either mental or physical. There may be unfaithfulness.
These are all good reasons to break the “bond” of faith with that person. In this instance, it is
hoped that both will seek discussion and healing from those who are capable of giving it.
Most often this is clergy.
Is it a failure on the part of both parties? Somewhat, but not always.
The truth is couples have become selfish these days. They want what they want, and have a
difficult time agreeing, compromising or being concerned with what their partner may need or want.
I think this is due to lack of faith.
It is our duty as clergy, no matter what faith, to try and address these issues with couples who
want to marry. To discuss even if only briefly how entering into a marriage is an important
step in life, and means they are now responsible for the welfare, happiness and love of two people
not just one. That if at anytime one or the other is not able to do this, then they are breaking faith
with the other. While divorce is the legal dissolution of the marriage, the spiritual dissolution is far
deeper and long lasting. I think it’s important that couples realize, breaking this bond is a break
in faith as well, and should be undertaken with as solemn a decision as the marriage was.
Divorce is a horrible thing. Yet if and when two people take two different paths at a fork in the raod, they are separated from one another and divorce is merely a formal and legal decree of what has already happened. Always, the vows are broken that wewre made when a couple unite and wed. There are many reasons why a person does not honor the vows they have made. The worst is they did not really mean what they were saying at the time or thought they were just words required in order to be wed. Indeed premarriage counseling should be done. The seriousness of making a vow should be explained and understood. Bad times will come and sickness will come and troubles will come in a marraige. It is only when these vows are kept and the love remains as the foundation of the realtionship, the marriage stays intact.
After sixteen years I had to divorce my wife. For being unfaithful and untrue; for treating the vows as nothing to be considered. She took another path at the fork in the road and wanted the wild side of life. I had no choice but to divorce her. She had already divorced me and separated from me spiritually. The love I thought was there was not really there. Every couple should leaarn what true love is and consider what vows really mean. Counseling should be mandatory.
In the love of God,
DW Suiter
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.