I have recently been ordained by the ULC and want one of my first acts as a minister to be the baptism of my son. I was raised as a lutheran. As I have gotten older my belief structures have changed. I believe in a greater power and have faith in that power and consider myself to be a spiritual person. However, I feel uncomfortable giving a name to my spiritual beliefs. Therefore, I'm curious if a traditional baptism or christening would be the way to go for my son. Also as I consider myself to be non-doctrinal as does the ULC as far as I can tell and am open to all religions and faiths. My sister, a wicca, would like me to perform a wiccaning for her daughters. Is this within my realm or spiritual capabilities as an ordained ULC minister? Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank You,
(newly appointed) Rev. Kyle Cusick

you can use any rites you wish too.
but not all rites are availble to the public and only to it's ministers or priests.

Many member of the ULC are followers of Belief over Religion. At least that is what I call it. Maybe, like me, you consider yourself a student of God. On a constant journey of faith.

Maybe this will help... as much of how you described yourself is how I would myself. I add the following caveats.. maybe they hold true for you too...

Although I have personal beliefs that identify MY GOD, I do not discount how others may refer to him and spiritual honor him via their faith. As a result of this belief based system of faith, I can accept others and how they worship much easier than most folks of the cloth. Truly non-denominational. The books of faiths can have many titles and the God we know may have several names, but is he not always the same to all. The God of Love and Peace.

As for ceremonies - read up. There are many great reference books at the bookstore Monastery.org as well as through the group discussion threads here and on the member directory - join and search titles.

As for Wicca - If it is acceptable for your sister, and her faith, then why not. However, again, respect her faith - read up on the rituals, and make yourself both physically and meantally comfortable with the process. ALSO KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO... If soemthing in the ritual is not hat you feel comfortable with, discuss it with the Wicca priestess, and if there is no recourse, then consider 'assisting' in the service, rather than being the leader.

Finally, when researching, if the ritual calls for a Wicca lay person, you may need to have one thre to ratify the ceremony.

I thank you both very much for your help and suggestions. I'm a little nervous with all of this. I've also as recently as last night been asked to perform my first wedding on Sept. 26th. This is all moving much faster than I suppose I had anticipated. Homework, homework, homework.

Thank You Again
Rev. Kyle Cusick

Also Dr. Ray, I plan on doing as much research as possible before performing any ceremonies but I was however curious if you had any suggestions as far as the ceremony for my son as we do seem to share many of the same beliefs.

Thank You,
Rev. Kyle Cusick

Kyle,

How about a non-ecclesiastical suggestion I received from my minister when I was in high school ( yes, back in the dark ages ). He said we have all seen the screaming, unhappy children who are baptized. The trick to them being calmer, is to insure the holy water is warmer. Slightly warmer than room temperature.

I hope that helps.

Rev Jeff

I wish I could point you directly to the one and only answer on that one.. but that is exactly what you don't need. Although I have not performed a Baptism yet, I think I would do the following - especially for my Son ---

a) I would review many rites on baptism. Picking out some that are comfortable from each. Although the purpose of the day is to bring my Son into the fold of faith, I am a realist, and there would definitely be some folks there who would expect it to have some familiarity - if not in text, word, prayer, or even act, in context absolutely. Something in the ceremony must be what attendees can link to their traditions, and say -- I can see the importance of that ritual.

As a ULCM you are in a unique position. You are backed by a church with a simple Mantra... You are ordained not because of WHO you are, but what you believe. The ULC understands that the Bible and other books of faith all promote the idea that EACH OF US is to minister to all. ULC gladly gives us a piece of paper to let others feel comfortable - but the fact is, the entire concept on ULC is that you area a Minister because you have made a commitment and oath to minister.

That said - you should consider ALL written words and rituals not as defined blueprints and texts, but rather guides to an end result. Your prayers and sermons should be from the heart, not from a book. (However you should right them down, remember them, rehearse them, and even share them (with us) later. Do not be afraid to create a program, and have the prayers IN the program fro all to read along... You will be a little (lot) nervous your first time, and having the reference guide will give you calm.

c) Make the day fit your beliefs. Your prayers and ceremony should be around the core values you hope for Your son. Pray for his life to be enriched with the spiritual affirmation to make positive choices - to believe in God, and to find his inner acceptance of his creator.

Pray that Your son grows to be a man of love, respect, tolerance, peace, and faith. That Your son follows a path he can be proud of. A path that he will hope for his son, and so forth.

Pray that all those in Attendance will find it in their hearts to support Your son in his spiritual growth. To allow Your son the opportunity to make his choices when it comes to beliefs, but to offer guidance without bias, when asked. That those in Attendance act as counselors, not teachers, brothers and sisters, not parents or friends, and family not strangers.

Pray that the God we all love and believe in should look down upon Your son on this special day and all the days of his life. To bestow upon Your son the Love far greater than any man of flesh could. That God will help Your son make the right choices throughout his life. And...

That God, as witnessed today via this anointing in (with) water, shall accept Your son into his heavenly kingdom and love. That from this day forth, to the end of time, that Your son shall have God as his mentor. The God of Love and Peace. In the his name we ask for these precious gifts today.

d) Get others involved. Have others read passages that you are comfortable with. Short and simple, because as Brother Jeff stated - it isn’t just cold water that gets kids in an uproar. Try putting them in a pew for an hour.

e) If you are comfortable with the tradition (I am Italian) ask for some Spiritual God Parents. Persons who will be charged with ensuring, in Your absence, that Your child, while unable to speak for himself, shall be free to make the choices in faith and belief you have baptized him with today.

f) Remember that Baptism is both a cleansing of the past and a rebirth into the future.

As a past Episcopal, I can tell you, that as a formal religion they get it pretty close to right. They baptize or CHRISTENING into not a religion but a faith. In other words, as episcopals, you are baptized 'Christian' followers of Christ. You are NOT an Episcopal at that moment. When you turn 12ish) you have the opportunity to ACCEPT the LORD JESUS in your own right (not by your parents choice) via Holy Communion (Romans Catholics do this much earlier at age 7 - lock 'em in early before they can make a weighted choice - lol) and at the same time CONFIRM them into the FAITH (Episcopal or RC.)

My point here is not that the Episcopal Baptism works.. but rather the premise. Baptize the child to cleanse his and your past, so your deeds can not be considered his blame. Your reputation should not be considered his. To each man be thine self. Baptize the child to give them a NEW Life. A life of their own spiritually. A life of Belief. Of Love and Peace. COMMIT the attendees, parents, and God Parents to serve that child, and to assist him in obtaining their true belief and faith, when understood and ready. To help and support the child in anyway necessary in reaching that goal.

The baptism does not have to be about WHAT the child IS, but rather what the child can become. A man (women) with solid values and beliefs, loved by the God of Joy.

g) Dunk, Splash, or Pour. What to do, What to do... The ritual of water can even a pool, lake, pond or a wand filled with water to be doused in stroking motions, or a simple oyster shaped silver dish designed to gently spill a small amount of water across the head. It could be a garden hose for that matter - properly blessed for the occasion - DON’T FORGET THAT EARLY ON IN THE CEREMONY. (Try to avoid using Sparkling Water - I think that is so obnoxious - LOL)

The method of the act will should be chosen based on your comfort, and to some extent with the expectations of the attendees. Folks in the SOUTH love a good bath. Get a lake and a white robe, and complete strangers will grill a pig for you. Up North, less is more, plus who wants to dunk in the Hudson? Chose what folks and YOU are comfortable with - but use it wisely.

h) Be sure to anoint the head with Holy Oil in a cross pattern, IF Your Son is to be Baptized as a Christian. This is a rite of passage among the rituals - it is in the books -- and you know How I feel about the 'rules'. BUT some things (traditions) don't hurt to keep in - so if you are going to use Christ in the service and not just God - be sure to include some of the principles of that Doctrine. Read the books on the monastery website. You can get a package of 4 or 5 good ceremony books for under $50, or specific ones for $15ish. Nothing I have purchased has been a waste. All of them have had things I could use, and learn from. (Unless otherwise stated however, they typically follow the RC church doctrine - which is the most traditional - but you can modify off them and use them more as guides than tools.)

Hope this helps.