I had something happen today at work and I'm calling on my brothers here to help me out. I'm not sure how to handle this situation. I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing.

Basically someone in my department (a contractor) sent me an email today that had very graphic pictures from a car accident in it. They also forwarded this on to many other people within the company. I guess the reason for the accident was because the man was texting while driving. This is a sad event and a sad occurrence.

I'm having problems with the fact that this person, who work in I.T., forwarded this type of email knowing full well that it is not something that should be done. It is distasteful for one. I know texting and driving is bad. But I don't need to see such graphic photo's from the accident scene. I won't go into detail, I don't want to burden anyone else with these horrible images that are now in my head, but they are very bad. Very graphic. Very detailed.

I have problems with this email for many reasons. First of all, she knows that it should not have been forwarded because of the job position that she is in. Secondly, I'm offended and startled knowing this person doesn't seem to hold much regard for human life. This person had a family. This person had a sole. He had a life and it was taken away horribly. His images should not be passed on from person to person. I find it disgraceful and demeaning to this person's life and his family.

I should probably at least let this person know this email was not appreciated. But should I let it go? I'm debating on letting HR know about this. But I'm sure this would get her fired, especially since she is a contractor. I would hate to cause turmoil in a persons life. But at the same time, she has no regard for another's life in my opinion.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I have experienced the same thing in the past. What I did was take the person aside, away from prying ears and eyes, and discussed with him my disgust and why I felt the way I did. I reminded him that it was unethical for him to use company computers to send personal agendas, that I was personally offended and stated if I received another like it I would not be speaking to him but to his supervisior. The emails stopped immediately and the man was eventually fired for inappropriate conduct with another female employee. You know the old saying, "Give a man enough rope and he will eventually hang himself."? Well, use the same ideology on your co-worker. Remember, there are many types of abuse other than physical, and women are not the only victims of abuse. Psychological abuse can be one of the most damaging....Good Luck....God's Peace....To`na Wanagi

Dear ned4,


I am sorry this unfortunate event has caused you so much discomfort. While it is true, the victim and his family are entitled to a measure of privacy, there may yet be another reason for your co-worker’s email. It is difficult to know the true intent of another’s heart, which is why it is always best to leave God doing the judging. Perhaps this is an issue that is meaningful to your co-worker, and like a crusader of sorts, attempted to emphasize the message about unnecessary distractions while driving. Perhaps she has witnessed others of your company practicing the same dangers and is trying to keep them safe. There might have been a discussion of such practices that were defended previously, and she sent the pictures to show that it is not a safe idea.
The point I am trying to make, is that it is impossible to know exactly why she sent them without speaking to her first. Approach her with kindness and an open mind. Ask her why she emailed such graphic pictures, and listen to her explanation. Be prepared to truly forgive, as many people do silly things without any thought to the thoughts or feelings of others. She may have sent them because she wanted to shock people, or perhaps to initiate some kind of discussion. Whatever her reason, I doubt it was to harm those she had sent it to and had no idea that it would do exactly that. Take the time to explain to her what those images did to you and how they made you feel. Explain that they held a long lasting effect that you now must battle to eliminate from you mind. Let her know, with love and kindness, that though she may not have intended harm, her email has caused you to suffer by her hand. Take her word that she will not repeat the same mistake and leave her with a handshake and a warm smile. This should be enough to allow you to feel confident that you have done something to stop such disturbing emails, empowered your own efforts to heal, and satisfied that you need not be party to the interference of another’s well being.
Please be aware that these are the things I would do if I felt as you did in receiving that email. In no way am I telling you to do the same. You must do what is right for you and what you are comfortable with. For some, to confront a co-worker may be too threatening a venue, as job security may be an issue. Others may fear retaliation, ridicule, or persecution. Yet there are they who would automatically assume her purpose was to cause harm and report her. Others may have chosen to blast her out in front of her peers. More may have enjoyed the shock, and some who may have just ignored them. No one can tell you what is right for you. I can only tell you what would have been right for me.
Hope this helps.

May God bless you and bring you peace.

Rev. Campbell.

I am sorry this happened and that you are troubled by it. Your being troubled is a reflection of your good character.

I am going to assume the person did this for a noble reason, to save someone from the same fate. That said, I agree with you that it should not have been done. If this was the first time it happened, it was poor judgment or not knowing policy. If this happened before, than that may not be the case.

The problem is how to correct this without making it worse. If it was a mistake, you do not want to be responsible for costing a person their livelihood, least of all in the midst of an economic downturn.

Therefore, I would try to handle the matter privately and discretely. You have a right to gently point out that this was wrong and why. You gave excellent reasons in your post. If it happens again, then I think you need to take it to HR or a supervisor.

I hope this helps and I am sorry for your discomfort. May G-d bless you.

What if this individual had a family member, or cared for individual hurt by this. If your not supposed to judge then don't you're applying your moral creed to another which in itself is benign until it involves another intentionally. you know the whole burn her shes a witch thing as a not so subtle example. If you can judge, and have examined this to the umpth degree then by all means be the divine crusader bringing retribution to gods enemies....however that doesn't seem to be your role so maybe ignoring this is best.

I think the words we should focus on are "graphic pictures". The email recipient did not request these images that were obviously disturbing to him/her. The person who emailed it had no right to impose her agenda onto the recipient. An example of this intrusive behavior? A time not so long ago, I opened up the forum one morning and what I found was some of the most disgusting and offensive pornography glaring back at me. It was so disturbing to see these images of children being exploited that I first became ill, and then angry enough to contact the moderators of the Forum and the FBI to investigate the criminal aspect of these photos.

OMG! Did I contact the person who posted this filth and worry about infringing on his poor little rights? Absolutely not! My prayer is that they will be discovered and prosecuted to the highest degree of the law!! What we forget is that, in our own passion or capitalist agenda, we may indeed infringe upon the sensitivities of others. Whether or not this person is personally involved, or has experienced a tragedy of text-drivers, is irrelevant and does not give her an arbitrary right to send "graphic pictures" to anyone until she has asked for their consent or has been requested by another to forward them. The same is true of spammers or phone solicitors who invade my mailbox or personal time. They have no right to include me in their schemes without my consent, especially when they are aware that I am on the "Do not call" list and violate my space anyway. And as for the position of the others posts on this subject, I have learned that the direct approach is always the most effective and certainly the most honest and useful to all parties. We can use discretion without malice or forethought by providing a communication that is both understanding as well as cautionary. Sugar-coating and over-sympathizing with the offender can actually encourage him/her to continue passing along the offensive material. There is nothing wrong with speaking the truth openly or honestly about how one feels with candor and discretion.

As for your own description of the original poster, who is obviously upset with what he unknowingly opened and saw being "the divine crusader bringing retribution to gods enemies", I think is insensitive to his needs and is an unfair assessment of anyone who has a problem and is seeking understanding and answers to a disturbing dilemma. By this, you have judged him and have violated your own stated morals. Indeed, the person who emailed this material applied her own "moral creed to another" by assuming everyone would embrace her cause. And, as to the "whole burn her she's a witch thing", The offended party has requested our help to give him the most effective and efficient way to deal with his problem. I don't see that he wants to "burn" anyone but is seeking a fair way to address his co-worker and avoid arbitration. To him, I would say to follow your heart and intuition and God will provide a means to deal with it fairly and justly....God's Peace and Wisdom....To`na Wanagi

I would probably reply to the email and ask that you be removed from the mail list for things like this. A drawn-out explanation of why probably isn't necessary unless you get a reply with that question. I think that the request not to see any more would probably embarrass any reasonable person who was naively unaware of the impact the pictures might have had.

For the most part, I agree with To`na’s assessment. We as human beings all too often enjoy the freedom of judging people without proof or first hand knowledge. We do not know the heart of our brother Dr Ramey, as none was present when he opened his email, or are personally acquainted. We have no idea what his co-worker had intended, good or evil, nor are we personally acquainted with her. So then why assume either is righteous or bad?
The only thing we know, and that is by his word, is that Dr. Ramey was in need. He courageously sought the advice of our ministers and opened his heart to us all. Let us practice the love we like to preach and simply help. Let us leave our assumptions and judgments to the one who is qualified to do so.

I too contacted the FBI due to the pornographic material displayed on the forum. I also contacted the moderators and yes, I even sent a pm to the poster. I did these things so that the children portrayed in the material presented, would stand a better chance of being rescued. True, I did not give much thought to the well-being of that poster as my main concerns were for the children in question. Looking back at it now though, I do want them caught, but I also want them helped. I don’t want them to serve a punishment and then be excused after serving that punishment. Nor do I want them to walk away thinking their only crime is that they were caught. I don’t know if that is possible, but that is what I pray for. Just how I see things and am not suggesting others must do the same.
What is sensitive material to one may not be to another. For instance, I, being a former nurse, would not have been disturbed by the intense graphics of our brother’s email, but I know that others would be beyond shocked. Recently, at my present work, a gentleman came in with a 15-inch gash to his lower leg. This wound was sustained by having his leg caught and torn by his out-of-control wheelchair, and managed to affect the full thickness of his leg, down to the bone. One of my co-workers ran to vomit, and another had to sit from light-headedness of shock. I had no difficulty addressing the mans wound and keeping him calm through conversation and jokes. I have seen many such wounds and a lot worse. Needless to say, I am desensitized to such things and was much more prepared to help the man than my co-workers. Yet, there are multitudes of semi-graphic commercials about animal abuse on various channels of my television. Too frozen to function, any one of my family members know to run and change the channel for me when these things come on. It is to the point where any discussion, picture, video, or written word is too much for me to bear. Exposure to any such thing, and I become panic-stricken and am plagued by nightmares for a considerable amount of time. Over sensitive? Perhaps I am, but that is who I am, and there’s not a whole lot anyone can do to change that fact. I do not protest the commercials or the SPCA’s street awareness pamphlets they use to drum up support. I know they are shocking people and/or appealing to their sympathy so they are aware of the seriousness to the plight of animals, as some people require a virtual slap on the head before they truly understand the full result of abuse, and what is required to stop it. I also know that the SPCA is not doing this to willfully cause the damage it does to me. Their focus is on saving the animals, and though it is very painful to me, I am a staunch supporter of their efforts.
The point is, much can be solved with a little understanding and direct and honest communication. Even on this thread, it seems as though there are they who did not read, or misunderstood the entire original post and assume the sender of the email was working on behalf of awareness. This is incorrect as no such reference was made in the original post. Simply ideas tossed about for the sake of alternative possibilities by me. Nor was there any indication that our brother Dr. Ramey was “out to get” anyone. In fact, just the opposite is true, as he made mention that he did not wish to cause his co-worker undue harm. Unintentional misunderstandings and assumptions are the very causative factors in war. Let us begin a new practice of seeking knowledge and being sure of our understandings, so we are not in any danger of revisiting past regrets.

Dear Dr. Ramey,

I apologize for distracting from your needs, and I hope that you have a least were able to pieced together some help from our well-intended advice. You will find, no matter the subject of an original post, very often they take on a life of their own and will go in a multitude of directions by the time they are finished. I apologize for doing so too.

God’s blessings,

Rev. Campbell.

Ah no reading for content I see, first off my morals state it is okay to judge yours do not second I can state whatever the hades I want to, and cursed be the enemy who draws steel upon me dear sister, finally the graphic pictures weren't pornographic as you seem to think they were from an accident of course you'd know that if you read it. Your rabid aggression on this is laughable your opinion as irrelevant as mine have a nice, day, and be nice to me so I can be nice to you eh.

Dear Priestofthemoon,


I’m not sure who you are directing your comments to but perhaps you misunderstood what To`na and I were referring to. A while back, before To`na left the forum for the Easter season; we had a rash of spammers on the forum (this was also before the forum format update). One in particular was in a foreign language but was accompanied by multiple pornographic pictures, and some with nude children in adult situations. These are the pictures we were referring to when speaking about unwanted material being forced upon unwilling recipients. Neither she nor I were talking about the graphic material our brother was influenced by. It was mentioned as a comparison of people having to be subject to unwanted material without consent.
Next, again because I am not sure who you’re talking to, I went over my post but could not find anything that would seem even close to aggressive. If you should feel so inclined, perhaps you could point out what you thought was so offensive to you for me, as it was not my intention to be or sound aggressive at all.
Finally….I’m always nice to you, and as far as I know, I always have been. Not for fear of curses or swords, but because I see you as my brother and a fellow human being.
Hope this helped to promote some understanding and clear up matters.

God’s blessings,

Rev. Campbell.

I was addressing my comments to Tona Not you I have no problem with you, and I wouldn't curse any ULC individuals because they're comrades.

An old saying is that the road to heck is paved with good intentions.

Just let the person know in a caring way that the assumed message was good but the delivery was less than perfect; and ask not to have graphic images of any kind sent to you.

Sometimes people think they need to used a sledge hammer to swat at a fly just because it's larger than other flies and might not have got the message with a rubber mallet.

Dear Priestofthemoon,

To`na was trying to defend our poor brother who came to us for guidance in his time of indecision. Now I understand that you state your beliefs provide the allowance of judging others, (which is something I did not know about your belief system till now), and I also understand that you were trying to point out that our brother had assumed his co-worker had no regard for the victim’s life. However, I too had to read your post several times before I understood what it was you were conveying, as you rarely use punctuation. It does make posts more difficult to understand when we don’t have such guides to follow, and I’m sure you can understand how messages can be misunderstood as a result.
In all fairness, you too misunderstood To`na’s post when she spoke of her outrage at the pornographic material posted to the forum, and thought she was talking about Dr. Ramey’s received email.
This is why I constantly call for patience and understanding. If we take the time and effort to truly understand each other, so much conflict can be avoided, and so much more time and effort could be left to serve a greater purpose.
From what I can see, no one is right or wrong here, just misunderstood.
C’mon now, you know you love us!

God’s blessings,

Rev. Campbell.

of course I do even to na knows that

Point #5. We are all children of the same universe who should be concerned with always doing what is right. es that includes correction ad reproo that is full of love for one another. Who knows? Maybe if the person who asked our help shows these posts to the woman who emailed the photos to him everyone will benefit by our words. And yes, Priest of the Moon, I do know that you are full of passion and are my brother in spirit......God's Love and Peace to all....To`na Wanagi

DrRamey

As a systems administrator for a large company and a maintainance contractor for several others, I am fully aware of the situation you face.
I spend at least 3 hrs a week issuing infringement notices to employees for doing this and other things that they are fully aware a wrong, but continue to do because it is fun. To most people, forwarding a joke that they receive tends to lighten the load for the day. In our company this is strictly forbidden, and is in the terms of use contract that they sign before I issue them and email address and set up their mailbox.

Most of you will think this a harsh policy, but here is the reason why.
We have over 100 employees. Most know each other socially. Our company is spread over 3 states in Australia so some of them only communicate by email or phone. 1 employee gets a joke and likes it, then forwards it to the 99 other people. looking at one recipient ... they like it so send it the the other 98 people in the company. This happens for each of the 97 remaining people. Before you know it there are 9,700 emails being passed around the system. now imagine that this email was a power point show (which we strip off at the mail server for this reason) which usually range in size from .5 Mb to 2 Mb. That is now 19406 Mb or 19.4 Tb of traffic and 188238200 Mb or 188238.2 Tb of hard drive space we have to have just for 1 email that arrived.

Most places have a similar no joke/chain mail policy for this reason.

Now in response to your query,

Most places have a waring structure, ours is 3 strikes.

If this person is an habitual offender then yes, your complaint may cause some personal problems, however, their role as you have indicated is in IT and as such should be fully aware of the policies in place. As a contractor, even more so. As an IT "professional" they/we need to operate at a higher standard. If it was just a regular employee, then it would be slightly different, but not much.
As a contractor, they need to be even more professional in their dealings with the company and it's employees.

Personally I would email the person a request to cease these activities giving your personal reason so that they can understand why you are asking them to stop. If possible quote from your IT policy any relevant items to show that it is also not acceptable by the company. That is their warning.
If they continue to send you this type of material then forward this email and a copy of the first email and the second email to the department head and let them sort it out.

Most, if not all, mail servers keep logs of any email being generated. (we have to keep copies of all in/out emails for 7 years). I believe that the US is similar.

The department head will have access to these logs so it will never be a case of your word against theirs.

If your company does not have a policy to restrict sending this type of material, then use this email as the reason for a new policy to be included and just send your recommendation and a copy of the senders email to HR for consideration to have the policy added. If there is no policy in place then it's a now harm no foul situation. If HR is offended by the email as well then the message will be send down to the contractor in the form of a warning and a notification of the new policy in place. New policies are never enforced retrospectively so they should not loose their contract/job.


I hope this helps you

Peace and love,
Dr Doctor.

Thank you all for your kind words of advice. I am sorry it took me so long to reply. I've been ill these past few days (no, not because of the email); and just haven't been on the computer much. I do think kindly letting this person know that these types of emails are not welcome and to please stop. My main concern is that she will simply stop forwarding those types of messages to me and continue to do so to others. I know there is only so much that I can do. I'll just have to keep good thoughts that she will not continue this type of behavior.

Thanks again all for your help and wise input!

Hello my brother
I apologize I am so late on my response to this matter. I have been away for a few days.
I agree with Sister To`na Wanagi and Pathmender. A one on one attendance is probably best in this case. The matter is already let out and can not be retracted. On the other hand your spirit is calling you to speak out and for you to remain silent would be to ignore one of the gifts that the creator has given to you. there are many thing i feel can be said about this matter and you have gotten some very good reply. I say at this point ask the creator for the discernment in your heart as to what to do. Also continue to consider all party's involved and how your actions may effect your environment. In my personal opinion the excerpt "Evil reigns when good people do nothing" come to my heart.

Wow, good call dear Blackwolf!!!

God's blessings,

Rev. Campbell.

Good evening brother
I work in the E.R department at the hospital and I recently encountered the same situation with the exception that the person did not get killed but instead killed two other innocent people. All because they were using a phone while driving. Now I agree 100% with To`na Wanagi, and add, that this death though how tragic does
give us knowlege that we must pass on to friends, family and lovedones. "We must be aware of our surroundings and that every action has an opposite reaction", but for everything bad that happens in this world there is always a possitive side. I think that the woman was just trying to show how something so stupid can have a devistating effect on many in not so many words. I say what many have told me, confront her, tell her how you feel then "let it go". We as ministers should always seek to help people and I believe if you report her to H.R you may be doing more harm than good to her family.

GOD bless

REV. GDNORMAN

We all get 1 or two bad e.mails from time 2 time what i have done in the past is take the person 2 one side and siad very nice.y is thanks but NO thanks rev steve g

I agree completely, my ministry entails motorcycles and their riders, I cannot tell you the number of times I have been cut off, pulled out in front of, merged into because people don't pay attention to what's around them while driving because of the phone. There is possibly a better way to get the message across but the shock valvue leaves a message not soon forgotten.

I personally would just send this person an email. Ask that they no longer send you any emails that are not company related and leave it at that. If they send any after that then go to HR.