SUBJECT: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Options

[RevMikeInMI]

I just sent this off to several agencies in connection with my claim; I can't stress enough the profound effect writing it had on me. It has sent me into a whirlwind of depression from which I may not recover from until I know whether or not, at last, someone takes notice of and action on it. Please pray for me and for my claim to be accepted.

Although my VA medical records indicate that I suffer from Prolonged Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I am not being compensated for this condition. In addition, although several VA doctors have diagnosed me with this disorder and recommended that I receive treatment for it, I have not been provided proper treatment in either inpatient or outpatient care. With the opening of the new VA Clinic in Clare, Michigan, this month, I request at least weekly psychological care for this condition be provided me at this new facility.
Having obtained two complete copies of my VA post-service medical records, I am appalled at the number of times Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is listed in my file, and the fact that Prolonged Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is listed among my current official diagnoses. I was also appalled to learn that many of my conversations with and appointments with VA Mental Health care professionals on the subject were apparently not fully documented. I have had numerous such conversations with many VA Mental Health authorities over the years and detailed both the stressors I was subjected to and the events which they resulted from, as well as the conditions and symptoms that plague me continually; especially since the beginning of Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. There are even places in my records where Post Traumatic Stress Disorder screenings were not completed, had “No” as the answer to all questions, or where the answers to the questions were left blank, but the screening for PTSD was still listed as “positive.” I feel as if the VA is conspiring against me so as to not document, treat, or compensate me for my condition.
I do not know if there is a Statute Of Limitations on attempted murder, but I want it known that Chaplain (name and unit omitted to protect the identity of the accused), attempted to kill me with a pickaxe at our first bivouac site in Saudi Arabia during Operation Desert Shield near Al Qaysumah in December of 1990. Though we were an engineer unit, he insisted we dig a defensive bunker by hand; after an hour of digging, we had only gone a few inches into bedrock that was just under the sand and dust. When I suggested we request heavy equipment be used to dig the bunker, he began to swing his pickaxe at me, forcing me to avoid his attempted blows by tucking, ducking, rolling, running, and crawling away from him; he only stopped the attempt when the pickaxe became stuck in the ground between my legs and he could not dislodge it. He then told me that no one would believe me if I reported the incident and threatened me with military disciplinary action should I attempt to do so. I suffer recurring nightmares and flashbacks of this event and have since it occurred. In 2002, I wrote the (agency omitted) about the attempt on my life, but received no reply.
During Operation Desert Storm, I was exposed to continued bombing for 45 days, Multiple Launch Rocket System launches, mortar fire, gunfire, friendly fire incidents, SCUD missile attacks, chemical alarms, sleep depravation, malnutritioned Iraqi soldiers taken prisoner, dead, decomposing, burned, and mutilated Iraqi soldiers, destroyed, smoldering Iraqi military equipment and vehicles, and smoke from oil well fires. I was forced to drive the vehicle at all times although SOP stated the Chaplain should so that I could defend it and him, subjected to threats of disciplinary action for such inconsequential things as the Chaplain's having to walk to a Bible Study while I performed maintenance on the vehicle, accused of lying on a vehicle inspection form when I listed no condition issues for the vehicle, forced to watch as the motor pool sergeant, HHC Company Commander and First Sergeant performed an inspection of the vehicle while threatening to take disciplinary action against me should they find any condition issues (no such conditions were found), and was subjected to daily humiliation, name-calling, threats to my person and personnel file, and being told I was a substandard soldier by the Chaplain aforementioned under which I served despite the fact that I was a Distinguished Honor Graduate of the U. S. Army Chaplain School. I have discussed this many times with VA Mental Health personnel and have suffered ongoing nightmares and night sweats, flashbacks, anxiety and weeping attacks, severe depression, fits of rage, and phobias surrounding these events to include: irrational fear of HUMMVEES, fireworks, thunderstorms, bodies of sand whether beach or desert areas, uniforms, tents, physical confrontations, verbal confrontations, television news of Iraq and Afghanistan operations, dead bodies, ill persons, authority figures, and depictions of desert warfare. In addition, I am plagued by recurring nightmares that I have had to return to Iraq to fight in Operation Iraqi Freedom and the ongoing peacekeeping operations there.
When I was assigned to the (unit omitted) Chaplain Office as Non-appropriated fund clerk in (city omitted) Germany, (parent unit omitted), I had not attended schooling for the position. Whereas the staff of the Consolidated Chaplains Fund had previously consisted of two military personnel and one civilian, as well as a Fund Manager, I was left to attend to this fund alone; forced to use the desks of all the former personnel to spread out and accomplish the work of four persons. Though I repeatedly asked for schooling in and assistance with the fund operations, I was never allowed either. The Fund Manager, (name omitted to protect the accused), denied me leave, days off, passes, appropriate assistance, and requests for investigation into the fund activities. He often forced me to work through the night to try to correct discrepancies, he would call me during the night from his quarters to ensure I was awake and working, he ordered me to prepare incomplete documents to hide the problems in the fund from the Fund Council Members and the (unit omitted) Chaplain who served as Fund Council Chair Person, ignored property inventory requests and requisitions, contract issues for civilian employees, appropriate paperwork, bank reconciliations, and proper procedures and practices for safe-guarding Chapel offerings and other income. He even ordered me not to carry balances forward if I knew them to be inaccurate. I complained throughout my assignment to successive (unit names omitted) Chaplains offices about the mismanagement of the fund, but nothing was done about it until I was due to be discharged and a mandatory inspection revealed the truth. I was forced to sleep very little, often on the floor of the Chaplains Fund Office or the couch in the Chapel library for only a few hours per night, assigned Friday evening Chaplain Assistant duties to the Jewish Chaplains Program, and both Saturday evening and Sunday duties with the Catholic Chaplains Program at both (chapel and unit names omitted) Germany, ensuring that I worked seven days a week, on weekdays as much as 16 - 18 hours per day. Even on my one scheduled “day off” per week, Master Sergeant (name omitted) sometimes made me work in the funding office with the door locked and the lights off so that no one would know I was there. On at least half a dozen occasions during my assignment, I stood on a desk in the office and tied electrical cords in the rafters around my neck trying to build up the courage to leap from the desk in a suicide attempt, but always found the strength to continue in my approaching discharge. Since my discharge, I have suffered from nightmares, night sweats, flashbacks, severe depression, and anxiety and weeping attacks relating to these events, fits of rage, as well as irrational fear of financial matters, paperwork, offices, and authority figures.
I am sending a copy of this memorandum to (agency omitted) in connection with my claim, the (agencies omitted) The statements in support of my claim have been submitted to the VA , as have many pages of my VA medical records listing PTSD as a diagnosed disorder in my case, and a full report on the findings of the (unit omitted) Chaplain's Office on the mismanagement of the Chaplains Fund in question in item 5 (above). Should any other agency find need of these documents, please contact the VA, the address of which is provided in *DISTRIBUTION below.
I request immediate action on my claim, compensation retroactive to my first PTSD diagnosis, appropriate action against those involved, and immediate, intensive counseling regarding these matters.

[pathmender]

Dear Rev. Mike,

I am so sorry that you have been made to suffer for so long. I have prayed that you receive God’s mercy and that He may remove your burdens and relieve your anguish.
It is my belief dear Brother that you’re suffering was not in vain. Not if, but rather when God will bring you the peace you so desperately need, perhaps you may be the very instrument of His works. In your description of your experiences, I can’t help but believe that you were not alone in your suffering. There may be many others, and many who without the blessings of your faith and courage. You may well serve as advocate for others who may be long past the point of helping themselves.
I can’t explain it, but I feel that once God has helped you, it is not the end of this story for you. Hold on dear Brother, help is on the way as our Father’s love has, and always will be with you.

May God bless you and bring you peace, comfort, and strength. Amen.

Rev. Campbell.

[To`na Wanagi]

There is a new man in charge at the White House who takes great interest in these shortfalls and abuses of the system. His name is Barack Obama. I suggest you forward this letter directly to him. I never fool around with the little guys who think they are in charge and bully their clients, I always go directly to the top for answers. I do the same in my faith....God Bless you Mike.....Peace....To`na Wanagi

[RevMikeInMI]

Thank you, sisters; you inspired me to write the President AND quite a few others: I've omitted things from the first letter I wrote for my claim...

The Honorable Barak Hussein Obama
President of The United States
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C. 20500

Copies: The Honorable Carl Levin, Senator from Michigan
The Honorable Debbie Stabenow, Senator from Michigan
The Honorable David Camp, Representative from Michigan District 4
The Honorable Eric Shinseki, Secretary; Department of Veterans Affairs
Mr. Bradley G. Mayes, Director; Veterans Benefits Administration
Office of The Inspector General, Department of Veterans Affairs
Senate Committee on Veterans Affairs
House Committee on Veterans Affairs
Department of Veterans Affairs Regional Office, Detroit
Veterans of Foreign Wars Washington D.C. Office

I am a United States Veteran on a non-service-connected disability pension for both physical and psychological problems.
(Paragraph on Desert Storm repeated from above)

Even through all of this, that which haunts me the most is the degradation I had to suffer at the hands of those I served under.
While I am keenly aware of the magnitude of the suffering of other Veterans who have returned and are returning from the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, those who have watched their comrades be maimed and die, those who themselves have been wounded, lost limbs and senses, and those from the conflict I myself fought in who endured far worse than I, my own brand of suffering is what I am left to deal with day after day. Twenty years ago, I enlisted in the United States Army to secure a chance to go to college because I could not afford it, to gain experience in ministry which I believed to be my call in life, to have the opportunity to serve my country, a reason to be proud although I was too poor to follow my friends to higher education, and, as with any soldier in peace time, to see some of this incredible world. On June 14th, 1990, I graduated with Distinguished Honors from The United States Army Chaplain School, on August 2nd, Iraq invaded Kuwait, and on November 12th, I hit the ground running in Operation Desert Shield and served honorably through both it and Operation Desert Storm. I entered into the Gulf War a naïve underdog; branded, before I had a chance to prove myself, a wastrel and a weakling because of the Military Occupational Skill I chose.
Sadly, for whatever reasons, the Chaplain I served with saw me in the same light as everyone else; it may be because I replaced a career Staff Sergeant, with whom he developed great report, as his assistant; it may be because I was fresh from basic and advanced individual training and inexperienced in real army life; it may be because he was a Pentecostal Evangelical and I was a convert to Catholicism; it may be because the Brigade Chaplain, a priest, gave me the responsibility of ministering to and providing communion to the Catholics in my unit; or, it may have been any combination of these. Regardless, the man made my deployment a living hell. I could do nothing to please him, though I spent each day as if I were back in basic training trying to please him as I had my drill sergeants; they showed me more respect and gave me more praise than he did.

(Paragraph on Chaplain's behavior reprinted from above)

At our second bivouac near Hafar Al Batin, Saudi Arabia, he ordered me to drive him into the marketplace of the city, though it was boldly posted that U.S. Military personnel and vehicles were not allowed, so that he could shop for gifts to ship home for his family. Because of the amount of time he spent shopping, we had to return to our unit in the dark. I was left to navigate and drive our route in black out conditions with only a map, a compass, and my training. When he considered the amount of time it was taking me to do so inordinate, he began to hurl the most foul insults and names imaginable upon me, claiming I had gotten him lost in the desert in a war zone and would probably be responsible for his death; ten minutes after this tirade began, we arrived at the defensive berm of our unit.

Over the course of our deployment, he referred to me with derogatory name calling, complained about my every action, and made me live in fear of speaking for his uncontrollable anger. While in the presence of others, he appeared the demure man of God; while alone with me, he cussed and swore at me, insulted my intelligence and skills, and daily made me feel worthless and wretched.

(Paragraph on Chaplains Fund repeated from above)

Though these matters may seem inconsequential in comparison to the suffering of the maimed and wounded, they have maimed and wounded me emotionally, physically, and psychologically. I never again want them undocumented or unknown, undiagnosed and untreated, or passed over as meaningless; they mean a great deal to me when I awaken from my nightmares surrounding them, sweating, panting, and weeping. The number of times these events have nearly driven me to suicide are uncountable, and I feel I deserve the same compensation and care that all other veterans diagnosed with this disorder receive. Please, Mr. President, ladies and gentlemen, assist me in obtaining it.

I have also submitted to them many, many pages of my VA medical records listing PTSD as a diagnosis in my case, and a complete report on the mismanagement of the Chaplains Fund for which I served as Fund Clerk. Thank you for your time and consideration.
A Disabled Veteran

[To`na Wanagi]

Wow! Great job Mike! You will certainly get the attention from someone in the upper ranks. I have always held strongly to the idea that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease", so keep on squeaking dear brother. Keep us posted on the progress....God's Peace and Love....To`na Wanagi

[pathmender]

Sadly, for whatever reasons, the Chaplain I served with saw me in the same light as everyone else; it may be because I replaced a career Staff Sergeant, with whom he developed great report, as his assistant; it may be because I was fresh from basic and advanced individual training and inexperienced in real army life; it may be because he was a Pentecostal Evangelical and I was a convert to Catholicism; it may be because the Brigade Chaplain, a priest, gave me the responsibility of ministering to and providing communion to the Catholics in my unit; or, it may have been any combination of these. Regardless, the man made my deployment a living hell. I could do nothing to please him, though I spent each day as if I were back in basic training trying to please him as I had my drill sergeants; they showed me more respect and gave me more praise than he did.

Dear Rev. Mike,

Does this really matter? There is nothing you can do to please an abuser. Spouses all over the world ask themselves daily, “What did I do this time to deserve this?” The answer is…NOTHING. When an abuser is abusive, they do not need a reason; they only need a victim that is willing to be silent. I praise God that you are not such a victim and have the blessings of our Father to speak out. Go Brother go!!!

God’s blessings,

Rev. Campbell.

[RevMikeInMI]

Listen to this: The letter I got from the VA on April 16th said I had 30 days to get them "evidence," so I called down there to make sure they got it and the first thing I hear is a recording: "It appears that some necessary claim paperwork for Veterans was recently accidentally shredded at the Detroit field office; if you think yours may have been among that which was shredded, please resubmit it..." I wrote a woman that is supposed to be representing me an email asking whether mine got there; she wrote me back saying: "apparently your claim went to the review board on May 6;" 10 DAYS BEFORE MY TIME TO SUBMIT "EVIDENCE" WAS EVEN UP. So, I sent her another copy and the review board another copy and asked her to acknowledge receipt of both... I haven't heard back from her yet; this ON TOP of finding out that a literal TON of unopened mail from Veterans was found at the Detroit office!!! Then, today, I get in the mail that I have to go in for a "video conference psychiatrist appointment;" WTF? They are probably too afraid to see me face to face for fear I'll go postal on them!

[pathmender]

Dear Rev. Mike,

This sounds to me like good news! From what I see, they know you have a case, and the evidence to back it up. They can’t ignore you now, so they have to pretend to be interested; to look as though they are takings some form of action. I believe they will continue to stall your progress as much as possible, in the hopes that the more obstacles and hoops they make you jump through, the greater the chance of having you become discouraged and leaving it alone.
Pray for strength and courage and don’t give up Mike; you got them if you can hang in there!

God’s blessings,

Rev. Campbell.

[DW Suiter]

Mike;

I srongly suggest you join; if you don't already belong; the DAV organization. They provide extremely good representation and can get a lot done. There is no fee for their services. They have done a lot for me.

In the love of God,

DW Suiter

[BR. Joseph]

The DAV will help even if you do not join immediately. I too am a member, though I am trying to press with my own new claim, for reasons of my own. I found that the DAV service officers will do what they know how to do as well as they can, but if you take the time to find out about anything more than that and work with them (some are quite willing to have your help on your claim) often things work better and faster for your claim.

Though if you have someone that is not representing you as you think they should I strongly suggest finding someone else to push your claim for you. I do not suggest using service officers that spend their days in the VFW, American Legion, or DAV, club house in places that serve alcohol. One poor service officer and I am again refiling a claim that should have been out of the way 3 years ago.

Additionally, one of the most potent phrases a doctor can use to help you get your rating is, "Said disability is as likely as not to be connected to injury incurred during service." This statement is technically required to be interpreted in your favour while protecting the doctor from being censured for over diagnosing. Something an old Vietnam vet told me about, when he walked me through a claim.

[fredremnant]

I just sent this off to several agencies in connection with my claim; I can't stress enough the profound effect writing it had on me. It has sent me into a whirlwind of depression from which I may not recover from until I know whether or not, at last, someone takes notice of and action on it. Please pray for me and for my claim to be accepted.

Although my VA medical records indicate that I suffer from Prolonged Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I am not being compensated for this condition. In addition, although several VA doctors have diagnosed me with this disorder and recommended that I receive treatment for it, I have not been provided proper treatment in either inpatient or outpatient care. With the opening of the new VA Clinic in Clare, Michigan, this month, I request at least weekly psychological care for this condition be provided me at this new facility.
Having obtained two complete copies of my VA post-service medical records, I am appalled at the number of times Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is listed in my file, and the fact that Prolonged Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is listed among my current official diagnoses. I was also appalled to learn that many of my conversations with and appointments with VA Mental Health care professionals on the subject were apparently not fully documented. I have had numerous such conversations with many VA Mental Health authorities over the years and detailed both the stressors I was subjected to and the events which they resulted from, as well as the conditions and symptoms that plague me continually; especially since the beginning of Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. There are even places in my records where Post Traumatic Stress Disorder screenings were not completed, had “No” as the answer to all questions, or where the answers to the questions were left blank, but the screening for PTSD was still listed as “positive.” I feel as if the VA is conspiring against me so as to not document, treat, or compensate me for my condition.
I do not know if there is a Statute Of Limitations on attempted murder, but I want it known that Chaplain (name and unit omitted to protect the identity of the accused), attempted to kill me with a pickaxe at our first bivouac site in Saudi Arabia during Operation Desert Shield near Al Qaysumah in December of 1990. Though we were an engineer unit, he insisted we dig a defensive bunker by hand; after an hour of digging, we had only gone a few inches into bedrock that was just under the sand and dust. When I suggested we request heavy equipment be used to dig the bunker, he began to swing his pickaxe at me, forcing me to avoid his attempted blows by tucking, ducking, rolling, running, and crawling away from him; he only stopped the attempt when the pickaxe became stuck in the ground between my legs and he could not dislodge it. He then told me that no one would believe me if I reported the incident and threatened me with military disciplinary action should I attempt to do so. I suffer recurring nightmares and flashbacks of this event and have since it occurred. In 2002, I wrote the (agency omitted) about the attempt on my life, but received no reply.
During Operation Desert Storm, I was exposed to continued bombing for 45 days, Multiple Launch Rocket System launches, mortar fire, gunfire, friendly fire incidents, SCUD missile attacks, chemical alarms, sleep depravation, malnutritioned Iraqi soldiers taken prisoner, dead, decomposing, burned, and mutilated Iraqi soldiers, destroyed, smoldering Iraqi military equipment and vehicles, and smoke from oil well fires. I was forced to drive the vehicle at all times although SOP stated the Chaplain should so that I could defend it and him, subjected to threats of disciplinary action for such inconsequential things as the Chaplain's having to walk to a Bible Study while I performed maintenance on the vehicle, accused of lying on a vehicle inspection form when I listed no condition issues for the vehicle, forced to watch as the motor pool sergeant, HHC Company Commander and First Sergeant performed an inspection of the vehicle while threatening to take disciplinary action against me should they find any condition issues (no such conditions were found), and was subjected to daily humiliation, name-calling, threats to my person and personnel file, and being told I was a substandard soldier by the Chaplain aforementioned under which I served despite the fact that I was a Distinguished Honor Graduate of the U. S. Army Chaplain School. I have discussed this many times with VA Mental Health personnel and have suffered ongoing nightmares and night sweats, flashbacks, anxiety and weeping attacks, severe depression, fits of rage, and phobias surrounding these events to include: irrational fear of HUMMVEES, fireworks, thunderstorms, bodies of sand whether beach or desert areas, uniforms, tents, physical confrontations, verbal confrontations, television news of Iraq and Afghanistan operations, dead bodies, ill persons, authority figures, and depictions of desert warfare. In addition, I am plagued by recurring nightmares that I have had to return to Iraq to fight in Operation Iraqi Freedom and the ongoing peacekeeping operations there.
When I was assigned to the (unit omitted) Chaplain Office as Non-appropriated fund clerk in (city omitted) Germany, (parent unit omitted), I had not attended schooling for the position. Whereas the staff of the Consolidated Chaplains Fund had previously consisted of two military personnel and one civilian, as well as a Fund Manager, I was left to attend to this fund alone; forced to use the desks of all the former personnel to spread out and accomplish the work of four persons. Though I repeatedly asked for schooling in and assistance with the fund operations, I was never allowed either. The Fund Manager, (name omitted to protect the accused), denied me leave, days off, passes, appropriate assistance, and requests for investigation into the fund activities. He often forced me to work through the night to try to correct discrepancies, he would call me during the night from his quarters to ensure I was awake and working, he ordered me to prepare incomplete documents to hide the problems in the fund from the Fund Council Members and the (unit omitted) Chaplain who served as Fund Council Chair Person, ignored property inventory requests and requisitions, contract issues for civilian employees, appropriate paperwork, bank reconciliations, and proper procedures and practices for safe-guarding Chapel offerings and other income. He even ordered me not to carry balances forward if I knew them to be inaccurate. I complained throughout my assignment to successive (unit names omitted) Chaplains offices about the mismanagement of the fund, but nothing was done about it until I was due to be discharged and a mandatory inspection revealed the truth. I was forced to sleep very little, often on the floor of the Chaplains Fund Office or the couch in the Chapel library for only a few hours per night, assigned Friday evening Chaplain Assistant duties to the Jewish Chaplains Program, and both Saturday evening and Sunday duties with the Catholic Chaplains Program at both (chapel and unit names omitted) Germany, ensuring that I worked seven days a week, on weekdays as much as 16 - 18 hours per day. Even on my one scheduled “day off” per week, Master Sergeant (name omitted) sometimes made me work in the funding office with the door locked and the lights off so that no one would know I was there. On at least half a dozen occasions during my assignment, I stood on a desk in the office and tied electrical cords in the rafters around my neck trying to build up the courage to leap from the desk in a suicide attempt, but always found the strength to continue in my approaching discharge. Since my discharge, I have suffered from nightmares, night sweats, flashbacks, severe depression, and anxiety and weeping attacks relating to these events, fits of rage, as well as irrational fear of financial matters, paperwork, offices, and authority figures.
I am sending a copy of this memorandum to (agency omitted) in connection with my claim, the (agencies omitted) The statements in support of my claim have been submitted to the VA , as have many pages of my VA medical records listing PTSD as a diagnosed disorder in my case, and a full report on the findings of the (unit omitted) Chaplain's Office on the mismanagement of the Chaplains Fund in question in item 5 (above). Should any other agency find need of these documents, please contact the VA, the address of which is provided in *DISTRIBUTION below.
I request immediate action on my claim, compensation retroactive to my first PTSD diagnosis, appropriate action against those involved, and immediate, intensive counseling regarding these matters.